


One Insult Away

by AuroraNova



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Cardassian flirting, Cultural Differences, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 08:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23847850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraNova/pseuds/AuroraNova
Summary: It has come to Dr. Bashir's attention that the Bajoran population of DS9 thinks he's in a relationship. He asks Major Kira to explain why.Kira doesn't know why he's so surprised at the answer.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 35
Kudos: 357





	One Insult Away

“You’ll need to take it easy for three days,” said Dr. Bashir. “That means no springball.”

Kira knew better than to argue. Bashir could be annoying sometimes, but he was a by all accounts a good doctor and committed to his patients’ health, so she couldn’t fault his expertise. As much as Kira bristled at being told what she could and could not do, she really didn’t want to re-sprain her ankle. For one thing, she’d have to take it easy for even longer, and for another, she’d be forced to listen to Bashir’s stern, disappointed “I am trying to take care of you but you are working against me, and your own body” talk. Receiving that once had been enough.

She nodded and counted herself lucky that he hadn’t objected to her finishing her match on a sprained ankle. “Alright.”

“I’ll tell Commander Sisko that you’re on light duty for the next three days.”

Kira frowned. That would make it difficult to keep putting off her report for the Ministry of Interstellar Trade, the one where she had no idea what to say. Why couldn’t bureaucrats ask if you had useful information before telling you to write a report?

“It’s not negotiable, Major.”

“I know,” she said. “That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Fair enough.” Bashir made a note on his padd, probably updating her medical records again. “If your ankle continues to bother you, come back immediately.”

“Am I free to go?”

“Yes. Although… well, I’d like to ask you a question.”

Kira had long since given up trying to predict what kind of questions Bashir would think of next. It could be about her childhood medical history (no, she did not know if she’d had sadanti fever before the age of five), Bajoran culture (apparently no one had told him you were supposed to salt moba juice), or anything in between. The thing was, he usually just barreled ahead with his questions. Asking permission to pose them was new. So was looking around awkwardly.

“You see,” he said, pausing to clear his throat, “it’s recently come to my attention that the station’s Bajoran population is under the impression I’m in a relationship. Which I am not. I’m hoping you might be able to shed some light on what’s giving people that idea.”

“Having a hard time getting dates?” Kira wasn’t surprised. She didn’t know about humans, but Bajorans did not look kindly on infidelity and few would want to have any part in it.

“If you must know, yes.”

Kira would’ve preferred he ask someone else. Dax, for instance, who’d been the one to tell her that no, he was very much single. But he’d asked her, and Kira wasn’t one to shy away from blunt truths. “Because by Cardassian standards, you and Garak spend your lunches one insult away from tearing each other’s clothes off.”

Bashir’s stylus dropped to the floor and bounced off Kira’s boot. “I’m sorry, what?”

His shock dispelled any lingering doubts Kira might have had that the doctor knew what he was doing with Garak. “Cardassians love to argue. The more passionate the argument, the more serious the courtship.”

_“Courtship?”_

Kira wondered how he’d read those Cardassian books and failed to learn this aspect of their culture. Maybe Garak didn’t give him that kind of book. “You asked.”

“Yes,” said Bashir. “Yes, I did. Well. This is… very good to know, Major. Thank you.”

“Glad to help.”

* * *

The following week, as Kira went to get lunch at the Replimat, she saw Bashir throw his hand in the air. “No, that is _not_ the point, Garak! The moral of the story is that revenge is poison.”

This sounded like a book even Vedek Mara, who was known for her skepticism towards Federation culture, would appreciate.

“The revenge in and of itself is not the problem, Doctor. Ahab executed it foolishly. _That_ is the message: a failure to carefully plan is deadly. Just think how sailors would have celebrated Ahab if he’d successfully rid the ocean of such a menace.”

“Never mind that. Think of the happiness, not to mention years, Ahab could’ve enjoyed if he hadn’t been blinded by his thirst for vengeance.”

So much for the theory that Dr. Bashir never would’ve kept debating literature with Garak at lunch if he’d known what he was doing.


End file.
